What’s your zodiac sign? Mine is Gemini, represented by the twins. Geminis are known for being social and talkative. If you’re a Gemini, you probably even have conversations with yourself! I often do.

I’m very much a Gemini, but I also love the phrase “less talk, more action.” I don’t really like existing in the land of possibility—I prefer to see things happen. Carpe diem, baby. But here’s a fun grammar question: Why isn’t it “fewer talk, more action”?

Countable and Uncountable Nouns

If you’re already tuned into the difference between fewer and less, that might sound a little painful to hear. You’re probably thinking, “Fewer talk? That’s nonsense!” And you’re right. Here’s why: Talk or conversation is something you can’t count, so it’s treated as uncountable, meaning you use the word less.

Now, countable nouns—like grey hairs, books, cucumbers, and jellybeans—are a different story. If we were sharing a box of jellybeans, you’d probably end up with fewer jellybeans because I eat them too quickly (I love jellybeans, especially the cinnamon ones). With countable nouns, use fewer, not less.

Let’s go back to uncountable nouns. Things like laughter, moonlight, and whipped cream don’t come in countable units. If we ever have ice cream sundaes together, I hope I don’t get less whipped cream than you, because I love whipped cream on my vanilla ice cream.

So, next time someone says, “Hey, I have less gray hairs than you do,” you can confidently reply, “Actually, it’s fewer, and go suck an egg!” (That was always my dad’s favorite way to clap back at someone.)

Sidenote

There is nothing wrong with gray hair, but I grew up in the eighties and can still hear the commercial jingle in my head, “Gonna wash that gray right outta my hair,” so it was the first example that came to mind. Since I have less (not fewer) energy today because of the glum Oregon weather, I’m just sticking to it. No offense intended if your hair is full of lovely shades of gray. Next time you see me, just tell me to go suck an egg.